He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
