I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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