We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
