just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
