is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
