I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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