I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
