I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
