if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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