And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
