i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
whose ass print is on the piano?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
