So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
