yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
