There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
