are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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