I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
