I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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