how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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