508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
