is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
