She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
