eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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