I didn't shave. On purpose
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
