yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
