I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
