I want you more than these girls want KFC
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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