Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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