Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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