Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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