I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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