Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Randomize
