I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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