News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize