im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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