you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She is in my trunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
