We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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