Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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