Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
