pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she pinky promised me she was 18
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
