shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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