well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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