just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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