We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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