remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
