I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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