We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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