i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
