dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He? As in you personified your dick?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
