So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
