I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
