I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
