Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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