My friends, they love my intelligence
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
