Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
