I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
