well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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