she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize