you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
