VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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